- Soundbites
- Religion and Widespread Sexual Disorders
- Pop Idols and Thin Models
- Good Sex: Being Natural and Communication
- Masturbation
- Satanism, Consent and Sex
Soundbites
"Sociology" by Anthony Giddens, p102
- “Current research suggests that maintaining an active interest in sex and other aspects of life helps prevent the onset of senility and other problems in older individuals”1
- Shocking sexual fantasies can be surprising, but are normal. Sometimes people fantasize or daydream about sexual encounters that they would never actually act out. Thought crime is not a crime. They are only abnormal if they effects ourselves or others in unwanted or harmful ways.7
“The more in love a woman is with a man, the more physically attractive she finds him (Price & others, 1974). And the more in love people are, the less attractive they find all others of the opposite sex (Johnson & Rusbult, 1989; Simpson & others, 1990).”"Social Psychology" by David Myers, p442
- Sexual desire is regulated by the organs of the brain called the limbic system.
Widespread Sexual Disorders
"Why is Sex Fun? The Evolution of Human Sexuality"
Prof. Diamond (1998)9
There are too many imbalanced social pressures surrounding sex and sexuality. People in liberal communities are frequently enticed into sex too early whilst many conservative or religious families deny people sex and sex education for too long. Both are unhealthy. People are ready for different sexual experiences at different ages and factors which force (or suppress) sexuality are harmful to a person's healthy and normal development.
There have been periods in history when there existed a determined repression of all overt sexuality. In "Abnormal Psychology", the psychologists Davison & Neale write that "therapists with a psychoanalytic bent point out that in the second half of the nineteenth century, when the incidence of [some disorders] was apparently high in France and Austria, repressive sexual attitudes may have contributed to the increased prevalence of the disorder."2, sexual dysfunction may be caused by religious orthodoxy4 and that "pedophiles and perpetrators of incest are often rigidly religious and moralistic"5. The philosopher and acadmic Friedrich Nietzsche points out that frequently, sexual repression is religiously motivated:
“Up to this point, wherever religious neurosis has appeared on earth we find it tied up with three dangerous dietary rules: isolation, fasting, and sexual abstinence.”
"Beyond Good and Evil" by Friedrich Nietzsche (1886), p47
Suppression and distortion of sexual drives is a leading, and dangerous, cause of psychological dysfunctions. The British Government released statistics for the first time, showing the prison population according to their faith and type of offence committed. There is "a strong tendency for prisoners who declare a religious faith to be serving time for sexual offences"6.
Vexen's collection of dozens of news articles on Christian sexual abuse, paedophilia and incest since 1998.
Christian clergy have been under much scrutiny over the last two decades after a long series of immoral scandals involving child abuse. The cases have been shocking, wild, numerous, public, and they keep coming. Recently, an Australian fundamentalist pastor was jailed for incest and child abuse after spending the 1990s sleeping with his own two children in order to 'educate' them, and the USA LA Catholic Church has paid five hundred victims a total of $660m to settle cases dating from the 1940s. Many cases have been settled out of court, some priests have quit, some have committed suicide. Police and Western authorities have despaired, because they thought that the Christian churches were good place for children (hence governmental support for faith schools, etc). The situation is so bad that the police have called for routine checks of all priests. No other employer or community has such massive problems with sexual immorality than do Christian organisations; and it seems the stricter they are in their beliefs, the worse their transgressions are - note the born-again paedophile priest who murdered two of his congregation.
The supression of sexuality, irrational and superstitious regulations concerning it, are a leading cause of socially destructive behaviour.
Pop Idols and Thin Models
Television promotes an anti-human attitude and sexuality in Western culture. We have developed into a society where mass marketed media causes us to be biased towards overly thin women. This is bad for the self esteem of all normal sized girls, and causes an obsession with an appearance that is basically unhealthy and unnatural. The fitness and health of our bodies affects our mental health too. It does harm to our society. People yearn (for social reasons) for a body type that is unhealthy.
“Throughout history, the standards society has set for the ideal body have varied greatly (especially those pertaining to the ideal female body). [...] In Renoir's time, beautiful women were overweight by today's standards. Even in the 1950s and 1960s, the feminine ideal was considerably heavier than it became in the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s. [... A] large percentage of young women [...] although of normal weight, perceive themselves as fat. [...] As society's negative attitude about fat became stronger, the prevalence of eating disorders increased.”"Abnormal Psychology" by Davison & Neale, p212-213
Sex: Being Natural and Communication
The average man lasts a mere 4 minutes in bed.
"Why is Sex Fun? The Evolution of Human Sexuality" by Prof. Jared Diamond, p188 (1998)8
Relationship
The best sex is within a long term, trusting and caring relationship. When you can really learn and explore each other and become completely comfortable and accepting of all the habits of the other person and know and understand how their body works. In this situation, sex has potential to be the most amazing it can be.
Communication
Honesty and openness are essential for good sex, too! This means you need to be caring and keep communicating, talking about things and how things are, etc. The psychologists Davison & Neale warn than "poor communication between sexual partners is one of the major factors contributing to an unsatisfying sexual relationship"3. With communication you can really flex your minds and keep everything fresh, intimate and relaxing. It prevents stagnation, doubt, insecurity.
If you have issues with oral sex, or any thing else, communication is essential to prevent hurt or regret building up. Talking about these things before hand is preferable. I think if you don't have the trust or relationship in place to be able to discuss sex openly with a partner then are probably not ready to have sex with that person.
Grace
There is a very basic rule that I place a lot of importance on. When someone says "stop", or "no" it is essential that the first thing you do is stop. Basic human dignity requires it, and a failure to comply with this is very poor. People are vulnerable during sex and any actions that abuse the trust that is required for sex will have long term affects on the relationship and your own self esteem. If someone says stop, then you stop... and you accept it. You talk to them calmly and let them know it's ok, and ask what's wrong, etc. Keep communicating. If they don't want to talk about it then do not force the issue. Arguments and hostility can very easily arise when someone is feeling vulnerable.
Being Natural
I think simply being natural is the best route. This is why I believe sex in relationships is best, because you become comfortable and relaxed with your lover and are therefore much freer to be natural and to be yourself.
Masturbation
“Most people do not stop masturbating when they're in a sexually satisfying relationship. Masturbation is frequently done for different reasons, with different feelings, to sex and therefore isn't replaced by sex. Some couples never dispel the taboo of masturbation and never openly discuss it and I think this is harmful. I believe all couples should openly discuss masturbation including techniques, places they masturbate, times of day, etc. ”
Satanism, consent and sex
“The Satanist would not intentionally hurt others by violating their sexual rights. If you attempt to impose your sexual desires upon others who do not welcome your advances, you are infringing upon their sexual freedom. ... If all parties involved are mature adults who willingly take full responsibility for their actions and voluntarily engage in a given form of sexual expression - even if it is generally considered taboo - then there is no reason for them to suppress their sexual inclination.”"The Satanic Bible" by Anton LaVey, p70
“Satanism is pro-sexuality. Sexuality is a pure form of pleasure, something that satisfies our deepest purpose in life. Modern life allows us to enjoy sex without the risks of unplanned pregnancies and sexual diseases assuming that sense is taken. Which it should be. Satanism supports any fetish, kink or flavor of sexual encounter as long as all parties involved are consenting. Some people like quality, some people like quantity.
A number of essays and texts by LaVey concentrate on the use and expression of sexual energy, but as social tools and energy within ritual. Boyd Rice says 'LaVey understood that wasn't one cookie-cutter for everyone [...] Sexual freedom doesn't mean having as much sex as possible, it means having the kind of sex you want.' Our strongest emotions and desires are sexual, we are sexual beings, it drives and motivates us more than any other factor.
Our sexuality is fluid: It cannot be oppressed. Denying our sexuality simply causes its waters to flow into other areas, sometimes in very unhealthy ways, honestly and expression fare much better than repression. Satanism is informed by modern and learned psychological, medical and scientific opinions on sex, there is no dogmatic principles or religious intolerance of sexuality within Satanism. It is very optimistic, positive and healthy: This can only be expected of such a carnal religion of the flesh such as Satanism!”