By Vexen Crabtree 1999 Sep 05
You are alive because of the huge complexity of your brain. Billions of millions of interconnections - its impossible to describe to anyone who hasn't studied neurones before. It's like the weight of all the sea, tipped into a funnel at the top of your head. All that power conspires to organize itself, any part of it is normally accessible within microseconds.
Memories and words are your biggest asset. You should always strife to make sure that your memories of your own actions are good ones, there should be no other aim in life but this.
I am twenty years old, and everyday I lose a few thousand brain cells. Not a large percent, a mere fraction. But there is one small problem with brain cells, as with all neurones: They will never grow back, they will never be replaced.
No amount of begging or money will stop it; nothing you can do will halt the demise of your nervous system.
You are doomed, one day you will die. One day, I will never be able to hold your hand. One day, you will never see another bank statement. No matter how much you want to live, you can't. Everyday is counting backwards to zero, everything will fade to my favourite color.
You will be reduced to a few kilobytes on the Social Security database, in a hundred years no-one will know you, not the real you, not your personality or your style.
Every time I look in the mirror I see a dead man, a man who cannot possibly live to see any of his dreams come true.
Every day I wake up I rejoice, every time someone spits in my face I smile; because they in the end are no better than I. All people are equal, I am happy to be the beggar in the street or the king in a castle, I am happy to be alive NOW. Killing another person is one the most drastic things that can ever occur - every death is a victory for entropy and a defeat for Life. Fight it - death is nothing but a progressive disease, a conglomerate of separate ailments. It can be defeated through intelligence.
Your time has come. You are in a hospital bed, and the doctor has closed his eyes and looked down. He's thinking of your Other Half, or of your child who is crying with your neighbour in the waiting room.
You are freezing cold, you can't feel your hand anymore. The water laps over your head again, only this time you're not sure if there is enough room for you to raise your head and steal some air.
There is no more air, and your muscles are screaming for oxygen. You tried not to, but you've gulped in water. The salt is in your lungs and on your tongue.
Later, as all the muscles in your body relax (especially whilst drowning) your whole body becomes "soothed" and sated, temporarily denying you the energy needed to escape.
Your brain, lacking in blood oxygen but not in stored energy feels strange, woozy, euphoric: This is psychedelia - and this is when most people experience the "travelling through tunnel with light at the end" experience. Other experience out of body experiences: Their brain is suffering the first signs of falling apart coupled with the bodies erroneous return of happiness.
"Now she's just like them. She didn't fear the reaper, she held his hand"
Death is a progressive disease. You don't really ever get to know that it is happening until too late. You lose your mind
cell at a time, there is no line over which you die. Even if you are decapitated, or something equally final, your brain is
still functioning - and it will function until every cell has died.
Cell by cell you die, your consciousness becomes more are more confused until it doesn't know it's confused.
When does God call for you? When do you make your jump for freedom and float above your body?
After a minute, you are no way near dead. Some functions are quirky and you can't move your body, but if you started to
breathe again you would most likely recover. No, God has to wait a little.
After two minutes you can't think straight. There is no completely serious harm, you could survive and only lose a few
skills.
From then on you lose one thing at a time, until there is nothing. There is no point at which you can escape.
Your soul is your inner voice, and it dies a confused and quiet death. There is no heroic struggle - you don't have time
to think about anything. Your thoughts diminish slowly.
It's like a tank emptying of water, the water never knows it's being drained. By the time it is obvious that the water is
going down, it is going so quickly that it doesn't matter if you stop it. There's nothing left worth retrieving.
You have died, now what?
You don't die unhappy; it's impossible. The most strong willed of people will not put up a fight. It's like fainting, there comes a point when you know it's going to happen but there's nothing you can do. - It's very relaxing.
Death is the ultimate pain killer, you will stop feeling pain almost immediately. You only have your voice talk to you for 90 seconds, asking what is going on and why can't I move - and then you die.
“Satan Represents Death
Satanism is about reality. In reality, all living beings die. There are no known exceptions. Satanism, in embracing life and indulgence, is in affect striving against death. However, death will eventually win, it is inevitable. Satan, representing reality and the Human condition, symbolizes the victory of death. This eternal truth is more meaningful and potent than deceitful symbols of life, reincarnation or other spiritual pipe dreams.”